listen to some of my music?
Snapshots of life.
Moving to Posterous.com for now...
Hey all,
I love the look of this site and hope to accomplish it over at posterous.com just realizing that I can do more faster over there and they're more flexible- i can actually make my own domain.
For the time being, my site will now be justinjoyner.posterous.com
That site will be similar, just taking you directly to my photos, music, and videos. Let me know what you think... then again, you all probably just click the link on FB anyway ;) so you really don't care! ha.
Love to all. Continue to grow and be challenged. Continue to challenge me too ;)
-J-
Strength of my Heart.
Ever have one of those moments where you're in a peaceful place having time with God and You want to get your thoughts down, but realize you write too slow or sloppy and there's too much on your mind so you have to leave that place to type it up because it's just faster? This is one of those for me.
I've been wrestling with a lot lately concerning what God's teaching me through life situations and experiences. Just recently returned from Creation Festival in PA with a number of students and it was a phenomenal time of fellowship and learning/challenging. The main theme I kept hearing from speakers/God was that I need to be more bold and, despite what hardship I may face, not live in fear of my candle burning out.
It wasn't a mountain top experience like you might assume, but it was better- more practical. Upon returning home, everything was still here that was going on before. Nothing had really changed, but that's ok. I didn't and don't think that God would change life circumstances to fit my needs and desires. I know He works in His way and His time, I just have to be obedient and willing.
After a good amount of prayer this a.m. I realized that I usually want to walk away from my devotions (and have) with some small nugget of truth (many I share on here). And I sort of realized that I can just as easily fall guilty of the vending machine view of God: Spend time with Him, look at the right Scripture, pray, and out pops some amazing insight. Well, I wasn't getting it today and I didn't really want to.
I continued my reading in Psalm and Ps. 73 shared a lot of what I've been feeling. Asaph goes on about his enemies, hoping they live horrible lives for all the tormenting they've done to him- yet realizing that God is the one who repays evil and that bitterness had set in to his own life. In the end he says this, "Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of your works."
God is my strength. God is my refuge... Not just so I can hide out, but so I am able to "tell of all Your works".
Nothing profound, just God encouraging me this morning. I pray you have some time with Dad too and be encouraged that though your heart and flesh will fail and get angry and long to repay evil or give up, God is your strength and your portion FOREVER. Amen.
How am I NOT the Hero of MY OWN story?
This morning I'm wrestling with this awkward disconnect with God. I sat down to pray (even having specific requests on behalf of others) and to read and journal some, but it didn't feel "normal". It felt as though there was something unfinished in my mind perhaps...
I read a Psalm or two, looking for what this weird feeling was and what God was trying to communicate and I think I got the message, but they were a few common phrases that David used throughout his writings:
"O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love." -59:17
"Oh, grant us help against the foe, for vain is the salvation of man! With God we shall do valiantly; it is He who will tread down our foes." -60:11-12
Again, nothing new in these passages, but I think God is trying to provide me and you some new perspective here. I recently wrote about getting "lost in the story" and how much we love to be captured by a good book or movie and yet struggle to find ourselves in the greatest Story that is the Gospel. I think part of the reason we have a hard time if not THE reason is that WE ARE NOT THE HERO OF THE STORY! As a guy, not just a movie buff, but as a regular guy, this is just tough for me...
Ever read Wild At Heart by John Eldgridge? In it he explains how men LOVE adventure and danger (even if it scares us). Well, I think men also love to be the hero! Why do you think superhero movies kill at the box office or why do you think video games (be it first person shooter, rpg, etc.) are so much fun for guys (and even girls)? It's the idea that we are needed and that's what is difficult about finding ourselves in the Gospel story... we aren't cast as the hero.
HOWEVER- we do have a Creator who made us, and are therefore NEEDED. I don't write this to be a downer of any sort, I'm just learning that complete dependence on God looks different than I often think. I don't depend on Him to empower me to do something. I depend on Him to do it. Period.
He is the hero. Not you, not me. Jesus Christ. But the sign of a good hero is one that inspires and challenges those around them. I would say He did (and still does) that very well.
You ok with being a trustworthy sidekick that sometimes (if not often) gets captured and needs rescued? I'm working on being ok with it... Sure takes the pressure off "saving the day".
-J-
Why I want my own Avatar...
Here's the deal... I watched AVATAR for the first time last night (I know... way too long) and it was really impacting- for whatever reason. It inspired me in my relationship with my wife-desire to have fun, desire to fight for her- and in my desire to think more creatively.
I loved watching the way Pandora lit up every step they took and enjoyed the way the movie depicted the Na'vis connection with their planet. It was also great to see the transformation in Sully throughout the film- predictable as it may have been.
Now that I sound like a complete nerd, I want to challenge your thought process...
As human beings, we LOVE getting lost in a story, be it book, movie, reality TV, etc. We will often put ourselves in the place of characters within the story to think of how we might respond or react. We get caught up in the emotion that character may be experiencing or how that person might or should respond to the antagonist in the show/book/movie.
Well, this morning I was challenged with this thought: Why don't we get caught up as easily in the greatest story ever told? The story of OUR redemption from sin and death? Is it because there isn't a cool, creative representation of it out there? I don't know about you, but so many have worked to represent this Story in many ways... Maybe it's that the main character (us) isn't interesting enough? Whatever our reasoning, it seems easy for us to cast aside this story.
This morning I've committed to playing my role and getting lost in this story. My character has a purpose and a mission that is exciting and my dependence on the protagonist (God) determines the amount adventure in my life! I'm excited because this role comes with so many challenges and a formidable antagonist (Satan), but the end is known- just not exactly how it will play out! So, try as we might, we know how the book/movie/show concludes ultimately, but not for our character!
I challenge you and me to own and enjoy our roles. God is a God of adventure... let yourself get lost in that reality... in this Story!
Everything's NOT changing.
Ever wish that you were better equipped to do something that you REALLY want to do? Or, ever wish that your gifts and abilities were like someone else's? I think I'm having one of those seasons where it's difficult for me to know my place... specifically in ministry I guess.
I just wish I were one of those guys that could captivate a group of people with intelligent and moving messages from God straight to their hearts on a regular basis. I wish students would want to come hear me speak, like many young adults and other leaders would drive to hear a Rob Bell or Francis Chan speak on... anything!
Today in my time with God, our talk didn't particularly go like I'd hoped. You know, "Sure Justin, I'll just completely change your gift set and draw all kinds of people to you because that's what I want..." Instead, God affirmed what I've known all along. I'm not an AMAZING speaker, but I am drawn to and gifted at relationships with others. So, while I may not get through to multitudes on a surface or below surface level, I will get through to the core of a few... maybe I just worry too much about those outside "the few".
When I began thinking that, God kind of encouraged me that my music is what He will use to cover the rest. No, it won't connect with everyone, but He will use me to show crowds who He is, if I'm obedient.
All this thought/conversation process comes in the middle of some crazier things in life/ministry and I often begin to freak out or doubt God's plans and sustainability. Then I read in Ps. 46 what many of us already can quote, but don't "KNOW": "God is our refuge and strength, a very present (or well proved) help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling."
God hasn't changed, but I will continue to grow up into Him who is the Head, Christ.
How well do you use your tongue?
Well, I finally started my "delight" list today and it's been a great act of praise to God looking and thinking through all He's done for me and I will continue to add to it as He blesses me!
I was continuing my reading through the Psalms today and was in one of those "not-sure-if-i'm-getting-anything-from-this" moods until I re-read one part. Ps. 45:1 says, "My heart overflows with a pleasing theme; I address my verses to the king; my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe."
I often feel like this is how God communicates with me. It may be a little out of context, but the author is writing praises to his King, the Groom, and words just flow ("like the pen of a ready scribe"). This is kind of how it is for me... He sings and words are given to him! How better to be an inspired song writer for God's glory?
Now, Vicky Beeching did a seminar at Christian Musician's Summit in Buffalo a few weeks ago and pointed out that we do have to be willing to shape our songs more with the help and critique of men & women. I think that's fair as long as we cling to the point and message that God gave us because sometimes, yes, we do come up with stupid lyrics!
I just think it's great that God works in ways beyond us :) May He use our tongues to speak TRUTH in LOVE!
What does it mean to "Delight" in something? Anyone?
It's a verse many of us are familiar with, but often don't believe or understand...
"Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart." - Ps. 37:4
What in the world does it mean to "delight" in someone or something? The only thing I think of when I hear the word delight is Turkish Delights from the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (which my amazing teacher at the time let us eat!)
As defined by good ol' Mr. Webster:
1de•light \di-ˈlīt, dē-: a high degree of gratification : joy also : extreme satisfaction 2 : something that gives great pleasure 〈her dramatic performance was a delight〉 3 archaic : the power of affording pleasure
So, the best way I can think of it is to be EXTREMELY SATISFIED with the way God works and who He is. If you glance at the verses before and after, we see how David is emphasizing the importance of trusting God and being faithful to Him- waiting for Him. He also encourages us not to get all worked up when someone succeeds in life even by evil means.
It's so hard to just focus on our lives isn't it? So difficult to "delight" or "joy" in something we can't see or touch. I'm really working on what it means to maintain a happy or positive outlook on life and this is a tough piece because there are just times in life when things suck (sorry if that bothers you)- it's true.
For me, if I begin to see where God works in my life or others and acknowledge it- write it down, say a prayer of thanks, tell others about it- having confidence and "delight" in Him becomes a little more natural... even when life is tough. So, will you do something with me? Make a "delight" list or whatever and begin writing down things that God HAS done for you in the past and keep the list going- writing down things He IS doing for you now. A new answer to prayer or door opens up... write it down.
Let's work on focusing on what God's doing, not the evil that's so evident.
Today's Prayer.
Please read Ps. 19!
It's so powerful... Do you ever find Scripture inspiring or exciting? If you can read this and not sense some sort of passion that David was communicating, you need to spend more time with it.
The last verse is solid. I remember it from a Geof Kimber song regularly playing over in my head. "
"May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."
Believe it. Pray it. Live it.
Let's let Scripture speak... what's it say to you?
Today I was hit with this passage...
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:4-7)
What does it say to you? Let me know.
Trust is not an easy thing.
Yesterday during my time with God I was distracted by some pre-school students that were being taught/tested on what they had learned developmentally to this point. I wanted to be frustrated, but let God speak to me in that, saying this trust thing is something I need to work on with Him.
Then today, I read Ps. 13, in which David cries out to God feeling like he has been forgotten. He simply doesn't want his enemies to prevail over him and can't understand why God would hide Himself from him... how long will it be until He shows Himself?
Ever been there? I have... I am.
But at the end of this short Psalm we see David's thought process change from frustration to praise!? To me, he basically said, "Your love for me has never changed and Your salvation is greater than anything I could ask for or deserve. Because of that I praise you and trust you."
It's really tough to remember the value of salvation and, as humans, we're pretty good at seeing the downside of things, but I think it's a matter of focus and desire. If we really want what God wants, truly, then we should just focus on Him.
Is. 26:3 says, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."
May our minds be "stayed" upon our Father.
